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Can you?
Acceptance. As it relates to death, once upon a time, I thought it meant accepting that the person is no longer physically with us. Accepting that it can’t be changed. Intellectually, to me, I figured that was pretty straightforward. I’ve come to learn that acceptance is more complicated than that. We also have to accept that once we have lost a person to death, we can’t change anything about our past relationship. And, we can’t change anything that we did, or said, the last time we saw them. We have to accept that if we lose someone who is an integral part of our day, our life will change immediately. We have to accept that if we had a plan with the person we have lost to death, those exact plans no longer exist. I have also been learning about acceptance through my Mom who is living with dementia. Accepting the incurable, terminal disease. Accepting how our roles have changed. And accepting that her new world means I often need to adapt my own thoughts and behavior.
Grieving? “Make Room for the Comfies”
When you’ve lost someone close to you and you are grieving, your needs change quickly. You are going to have to unpack and repack many times for a journey to a place that you never really knew existed or at the very least, a place you never wanted to visit. If you are going to have a great time on a journey, of any kind, the first thing you have to embrace is that it’s not like home. Grief certainly didn’t feel like home. I will admit that if I were to pack that bag for someone who is grieving, I would definitely make room for the comfies.
Making this journey possible
It is fairly frequent that I write about hiking, and always, it’s more than that. Because there are analogies with life and grief that shouldn’t be ignored. And because, maybe in part for that reason, hiking has been part of my journey especially these past four years. So with that in mind, I invite you to keep reading. This isn’t just about hiking. I hike multiple times a week, because I can and I must. It keeps me grounded, which is exactly how I like to be. It is in my nature to feel stable, realistic, and calm. And when I feel this way, I believe it’s when I am at my best for myself and to serve others. There are trail stewards everywhere. All around us. Those that make ALL of our journeys easier, more beautiful, and even possible. Some of these stewards we know. Friends. Family. Their work may be very visible. Their support quite obvious. Others we will never see or know. I too am a trail steward. Sometimes seen. Sometimes not. Taking action out of love and kindness. And at other times out of responsibility, commitment and dedication. We all serve. We all NEED to serve. We owe this to each other.