How to Show Up for Yourself in Your Relationship

Written by Empowered Living Collective and originally posted on empoweredlivingcollective.com.

A relationship is also a partnership. Not everything needs to be 50/50 — but there does need to be a balance between you and your partner that allows you both to contribute to the relationship while still maintaining your own identities.

Unfortunately, far too often, that doesn’t happen.

Things like communication problems, self-esteem issues, or even unhealthy relationship dynamics like codependency can make it easy to lose yourself in your relationship.

Thankfully, there are things you can do to show up for yourself and change the trajectory of your partnership. Let’s cover a few ideas you can implement right away to show up, stand up, and make a difference in your relationship dynamics.

Understand Your Worth

Do you feel like you’re always “giving in” to your partner? Do they sometimes make you feel like your opinions or ideas aren’t as good as theirs? Maybe you even think those things on your own without their suggestions.

One of the best things you can do to show up for yourself in your relationship is to understand your worth. You have value. You bring something to the relationship. Again, things don’t necessarily have to be 50/50, but understand that you’re an important piece of the puzzle.

If you’re having a hard time understanding your value, try making a list. What are your greatest strengths? Where do you excel in your relationship, and why is it better because of you? It’s not an exercise meant to boost your ego, but to help you realize that your role in the relationship is just as important as your partner’s.

Stand Firm and Be Calm

There’s a difference between being assertive and aggressive. Assertiveness is often an important tool within a relationship. It allows you to show strength and confidence without hurling insults or triggering an argument.

Unfortunately, sometimes even the best of intentions can go the wrong way. If you stand up for yourself and choose to be assertive, your partner might become defensive. In some cases, they might even try to raise their voice and start an argument.

Arguments can be healthy in a relationship, but only if they’re done the right way. You don’t need to give in to yelling and name-calling. If a conversation escalates because of your assertive tone, stay calm.

Let your partner raise their voice if they think it’s necessary. You don’t have to give in to that behavior. Instead, tell them you’re going to step away until you’ve both calmed down.

Practice Clear Communication

Healthy communication is a key component of every successful relationship. Without it, you probably won’t end up getting the things you want or even feeling fully understood.

Couples have different communication styles, and that’s okay! It’s how you handle those differences that can determine the strength of your connection.

Communicate clearly with your partner by understanding, once again, that your thoughts and ideas have worth. Express your needs, wants, and concerns. Additionally, don’t be afraid to say “no.” Setting boundaries in a relationship is healthy, and will prevent you from being stepped on.

It takes strength and vulnerability to open up and express yourself, but once you believe in your own worth, it becomes easier.

It’s normal to want a relationship that’s calm and harmonious. You might even go out of your way to please your partner just to keep the peace. But, you shouldn’t sacrifice your own needs or wants to avoid rocking the boat.

Those things matter, and your partner needs to see that. Don’t be afraid to let your voice be heard in your relationship. If you still feel like you’re lacking the confidence to speak up, consider reaching out to learn more about the benefits of relationship therapy.

Learn more about the Empowered Living Collective here and at their website, empoweredlivingcollective.com.